(BZZZZT: THIS IS AUTO-ANSWER-BOT 3000. THERE IS NO WILL HERE. WILL IS NOT AVAILABLE. WILL IS NOT PRESENT. THIS IS AUTO-ANSWER-BOT 3000. YOU MAY LEAVE WILL A MESSAGE AND PRAY THAT YOU DO NOT PERISH IN THE ONCOMING ROBOT RAPTURE. I MEAN, TEA. YOU WOULD LIKE TEA. YES.)

Day 13: your favorite qoute???? (quote????) (spelling mistake lol!!!!!!!)

I have plenty of quips from famous people that I live by, including this one from musical visionary and absurdist genius Frank Zappa:

“One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people’s minds.”

Of course, I take no greater pleasure in reflecting on the words of wonderful people. It’s therefore understandable that I follow the sayings of a man very close to my heart: Myself.

• “Ham has no odor.” ~Will Sisskind, on the beauty of processed food products.
• “If I can write the equivalent of regurgitated fecal matter, then so can you.” ~Will Sisskind, on motivation.
• “Skanks On A Train. Let’s make it happen.” ~Will Sisskind, pitching the next great American motion picture.
• “i am a BIG HUGE ASSFACE BAGVAGINA HEAD.” ~Will Sisskind, on being yourself.
• “My mother is putting my entire life in your hands.” ~Will Sisskind, on responsibility.
• “NO” ~Will Sisskind, on anything that his roommate Cool Bro does.

There are more, but frankly I just have volumes upon volumes of old anecdotes and it would take months of scrolling for you just to get through all of them.

It’s not new. It’s just a rehashing of an older theme with random quotes on the top and a new logo and stuff. Also, it looks cleaner.

Also, did you know that chicken soup is really salty when you don’t add water?

~WSKind

(WSkind is how my signature on receipts and official things looks, so I’m going to adapt it for the blog. Yay/nay? Family members: Don’t answer.)